Doubt?

Have you ever been at a place where you have doubt, I mean REAL doubt? You know,:"Why Lord, when I prayed so hard, why?" I mean you knew exactly what was supposed to happen. You had it all figured out, Lord, here is what is supposed to happen and how it will happen......And then something happens that leaves you with doubt. Lord, that was not supposed to happen like that, don't you see?
Well this happened to me today. I doubted the Lord, for about 15 seconds. why only 15 seconds? Because after that, actually before that but I wasn't listening, He held me up. He reached down, took a hold of my arms and held them up in praise to Him.
Sometimes God not only ask that we have faith, trust and praise in Him, but He gives us a little help in getting there. Have you ever bought a car from someone who gave you the money to buy it? God is like that, He asks us for trust, faith, and to praise Him, and then when we are so broken we can;t seem to do that, He reaches down and helps us along. This is how He did it today. After some terrible news about a family matter we had been praying for for a long time, I got a scripture in my inbox on my email. 2 Corinthians 4:18 : For we do not stare at the things that are seen, but the things that are not seen. For the things that are seen are for now, but the things that are not seen are everlasting" Basically the Lord was telling me, don;t worry about what you see with your human eyes, for they are but temporary, but look at the things that you cannot see, in other words the Things of God, and remember they last forever. Wow, it was not only what God was telling me, but the timing of it. I subscribe to a "verse of the day" type email service that sends me scriptures everyday. I don't know how they decide which scripture to use on a daily basis, maybe just totally random. But how did THIS scripture just end up being the one for today? How did it appear at the exact time I needed it? (I had checked before I got this bad news, and it was not there!!) Only God.
You see I doubted God, only for about 15 seconds, but I doubted God. For a few seconds, I actually thought God had blown it. I still don't understand Why God did what He did, but I do not think He blew it. I am still confused, hurt a little, confused, yes a little angry, but I have told God this, He understands my feelings, He is big enough to take anything I can throw at Him. You see God sees the "Big Picture", He sees what we cannot.
God knows we will have doubts, He knows when things come along in life, and blow us away. He knows how we feel. Remember his close friend Lazarus? Jesus was human just like us, don't you think He was hurt when He heard Lazarus had died? Then when He came to where Lazarus was, everyone ask Him where he had been, :"If you had been here, JESUS, this would not have happen" (Like it was Jesus' fault that Lazarus had died) We all know how that story ended, Lazarus was raised from the dead and all saw.
Did God tell us that everything would be easy, once we gave our hearts to Him? No.. Did He tell us that our life would be like "Strawberry Fields Forever" (Little Beatles reference never hurts) No He did not. What He promised us is that He would never leave us or forsake us. Can we not do the same ..... I want to "never leave or forsake Him" and if that means trusting Him more, the so be it.