Blame

Have you ever blamed someone else for all your problems? I mean as a adult? It is easy when you have "Ex". They aren't in the picture anymore, so they can easily be blamed. If it wasn't for my Ex Wife/Husband, I wouldn't have all these bills, if it were not for them my life would be so good. If it were not for them my life would not be so confusing. I have realized that I have been doing this for a long time. What has come out of this? Anger, bitterness, denial, envy, hatred at times...........yes.
Being divorced is hard, you realize you aren't perfect, you realize there were problems in your marriage that you could ignore until this point. But then is makes it easy to blame the EX afterward. there are only two people to be blamed for the breakup of a marriage, you or them.
You see, in my marriage, it was always me doing the wrong thing. I am the one who was selfish, I am the one who was a jerk, I am the untruthful one, it was me, I admit that and see it clearly. But even now, almost 7 years later, I am still, in the back of my mind where the truth really is, I still blame my ex. I blame her for letting me slip into sin and not warning me, I blame her for not being around when I needed her, I blame her for my life now that she is gone. I have tried to blame God, but that just doesn't seem right. But why is blaming my ex, right? It's not.

Hosea 4:4
“Don’t point your finger at someone else and try to pass the blame! My complaint, you priests, is with you.

There are lots of people in the Bible who tried to blame everyone else for what they saw as sin. Jesus dealt with many of them, "Pointing their fingers" at everyone but themselves. And , as you can see from the above scripture it was not just Jesus that had this problem, the Priests, and Prophets did their share of finger pointing in the Old Testament as well.

At my church we are in the middle of a Sermon Series on "Walls". This problem I have had for many years, on blaming anyone but myself, has become a giant wall in my life. I have always felt there was something between God and me, something that blocked the true riches, happiness, and glory from reaching me. He has blessed me so much in my life, though, I have to tell you if that wall were knocked down I think I , no I know I , would be overwhelmed.
It is time for me to grow up, and place the blame where it belongs, on me. I am the problem, with me. I have done wrong things, I have not obeyed God, I have sinned, I have allowed things to come between Him and me. And because of this, my marriage fell apart. I must accept that, before God can heal me.
Do you, like me have some things in your life that are unreconciled? Things that your holding on to. Things that have created a wall between you and God? Dig Deep, look hard, if your like me they are WAY down there hidden really good.
Did you know God knows that they are there? Sure He could dig them out with a sword and pull them up for the whole world to see. But God is not like that, He wants you to realize they are there, then He will with a surgeons hand, very easily slice you open and remove them with little damage to you. He will give you some tools to tear down that wall, He will throw those things that were buried deep inside you as far as the east is from the west. But He will never do this unless you ask.
Lord, I come before you, with praise for all you have done in my life. I think you for my children, I think you for my EX wife, and the years you gave us together. I ask that you forgive me for continuing to have this wall between us. I thank you for helping me realize it was there, still. I ask that you give me the tools to start to tear it down so that I can live in your promises. I also ask that you take your surgical knife and remove the part of me that still has resentment for Mary, and blame her for MY deeds. Forgive me, Lord and help me . Thank you
There was a poem I memorized way back in about the 3rd of 4th grade. It is called "The Fog" I don't remember it all, but I remember the line..."The Fog comes in on little cats feet................." When we ask God to forgive us for something, or help us in a certain way and we really mean it, He will. BUT after we do and feel better and move on, it is Satan that will not let us forget this thing . God has forgiven, and forgotten the Sin, but Satan comes up from behind on :"Little Cats Feet," quietly, patiently and purposefully.
. We know God has forgiven us, but we sometimes fall into the guilt trip that Satan is trying to deal us.
The Blame Game is such an easy game to be in. It is so easy, but it destroys us, it is "Wrong Thinking"> Yes I struggled with it for many years, BUT, I had no idea how deep it went until recently.
I want to make a new start, look ahead to the future God has in store for me, and go forward.
When I was in the Navy our ships Motto was "Press On", at the time we would roll our eyes every time we heard it, but looking back it is a good motto for life. Paul talked about running the race, and moving forward, never looking back but Pressing on toward the mark. When you "Press On" your not looking behind, you are not dwelling on the past and it's mistakes, your looking ahead, and seeing new obstacles, problems and victories. It is well past time that I "Press On" and realize that God has plans for me, not to harm me but to lift me up into the glory of Him, Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Did you get that: "to give you a future and a HOPE" We cannot live in HOPE unless we trust , we cannot trust if we have denial, unconfused sins, anger, mistrust, disbelief, and hatred. in our lives.
Pastor K, and Mary, thank you for your words of teaching to me this weekend. I know you are talking to me through your word and people who know You. Help me realize that I am at fault for things that are going on in my life, and I can allow you to change those things, only if I admit they are there and make the choice to change them through YOU>
I hope you got something out of this, as it was for me, I typed this and brought up some feelings that I have been missing. If you , like me, struggle in the area, I hope these words have made you think. God does love us, and cares about every area in our lives. His plans are always the best.