Colossians 3:18
" Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord"


OH, don't get all upset, now, thinking that I am going to talk about how wives should do everything her husband tells her, call him "Sir", work 24 hours a day to "Please" him. No, I don't believe that for one minute. I know a marriage is a partnership an equal partnership.

I was watching a "Everyone Loves Raymond" rerun recently and something struck me. After going to the emergency room and being told I did not need stitches, I started thinking how belittling many wives were to their husbands on these "Sit-Com" on TV. At the end of most "Raymond" shows "Debra" (Ray's wife) usually calls him an Idiot behind his back. In this particular episode she was making bets with their children that Daddy would not notice her new hairdo. The children were all laughing because Daddy did not notice anything, thereby he must be an Idiot, like Mommy called him all the time. Another show that is very bad at this same thing is "The King of Queens" Doug's wife continually yells, screams, "overrules" hits him "playfully " on the forehead, basically you see Doug as a fool, who needs a woman to make it through this world. There are many more like this, but most "family" sit-cons have a "idiot" Dad, and a Mom that points this out quite often,. It is all done under the "tag" of "Comedy."


In my failed marriage, I did some pretty stupid things, thus the word "failed Marriage". I cannot remember one time my ex called me "Stupid" or "ignorant" or "brainless wimp" or anything like that. Sure, she hated some of the selfish things I did, and I did a LOT of them. She loved me, and as a woman of God, she knew wives were supposed to lift up their husbands, not belittle them. She did, however, with love, try and point out some of my faults. She did this with love, patience and in a way that I would not take offense, hopefully. It didn't work, thus again the word "Failed Marriage".


For many years, Hollywood has torn down the family. It has left us with pictures and stories of a dumb, idiot husband/father and a wife who continually points it out. I often wondered what would become of these children in a real family in the above situations. As they grew would they think, "Sure, Dad loves me, but He is stupid". How would this effect their future marriages? You don't have to imagine it, just look around, divorce is higher then it has almost ever been today. Broken families, fathers who, after getting a girl pregnant abandons them. I am not trying to say that "Sit-Com " are the main reason this world is like it is, I am saying they added to the already decaying respect for the Father figure. Sure, we Fathers have done our part to destroy this union, with our selfishness and just plain lack of caring.


I am old enough to remember the TV shows that showed the Dad as the leader, the respected, the decision maker, the "Head of the family", because He deserved it. Fathers had wisdom, they had love for their family, they made all decisions from knowledge, wisdom, and love. They handed out the punishment to their kids with both understanding, (Yes, Jr. I remember being 15 and having the same desires and hormones you have, but what you did is wrong and I am going to have to punish you for it) and respect. What happened?


My Dad and I talk of this sometimes, he blames the "Women's Lib" movement for it. I think their is some truth in this, but like TV "Sit-Com" you can't blame everything on one thing or another.


OK lets look here:
Ephesians 5:25
"For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her"


What is the best way to gain someones respect? Deserve it. So, husbands, fathers: how do we gain respect of our families? LOVE them. NO, don't just tell them, but SHOW them. I told my ex wife constantly that I loved her, and yet I was so selfish I very seldom showed her. This is why she left me, because I was not loving her, I was loving myself. Tell your wife you want her help, but the final decisions will be yours. Tell her, that if she balances the checkbook keeps the bills paid, you want to be in on process. I left this all up to my wife, and did not take any interest in helping her unless she "nagged" me into it.

Being a good father/husband is simple. You must love your family more then yourself. You must want to help out around the house, you must want to spend time with your wife and children. You must not be expected to be waited on 24/7 because "your the man of the family" The best way to gain respect and the occasional "You sit there honey, and I'll bring you a piece of cake and a glass of milk, you worked hard today", is to help often, show your wife that you know she worked a 10 hour day just like you, and you'll make dinner tonight, you'll also clean up, see it works both ways. Remember it is a equal partnership.



Think of the jobs you have had in your life. Think of the best boss you ever had. Why did you like/respect him so much? Was it because he took time to get to know you , was fair in his decisions at work, rolled up his sleeves when it got busy and helped everywhere he could to get the job done? This is an example of someone you would respect, like, work for. Guess What? This is also the example of a good father/husband. No, you cannot fire your kids.

There is an old saying "Garbage in, Garbage out" It is talking about computers, but it is the same with a father/husband. What you put into your marriage and family is what you are going to get out of it.


So,I am going to stop watching these TV shows, they make me mad, now that I have seen what they are trying to do. So I have an assignment for you men: Let's prove Hollywood wrong. Let us show our wives and families that we are not Idiots, we are not morons who think only of ourselves. Let us show our families one thing Love, and gain respect from them because of it.


According to Ephesians 5:25 we are supposed to be like Jesus, who loved the church so much, He gave up his live for her> You cannot be willing to give up your life for someone and not love them. Are you willing to die for your Lord? How about your family? Selfishness, it has no place in the family. Now, go tell your wife and kids you love them, then show it to them.